We’re half way through the first term now which for some readers may well mean you’re looking back on the first half of a fast and furious fresher’s semester. Sometimes even students need time out to reflect as the rollercoaster ride of meeting hundreds of new friends; indulging in dozens of new experiences; relentlessly kissing your more attractive acquaintances and drinking your own body weight in alcohol can unbelievably leave you feeling a little alone. It’s not a unique phenomenon for young couples to be torn apart by the pressures placed on them by university, and some of you may have learned that it’s not necessarily the easiest place to handle a break-up.
Hopefully many of you have moved on, re-found yourselves as singletons and have rebounded your way into a ditzy carefree existence that will make you a blissfully ignorant student. There may be some however who have found that flying through Fresher’s at a million miles per hour has at times led you to crash into an unforgiving wall and left you crying for your mommy and wondering who you’ve become.
We all rebound in different ways and some admittedly can be more destructive than others. A common therapy is proving to yourself that you’re still attractive and it’s his / her loss by flirting and kissing every night away with whomever you see fit. If this has been your response and you’re now feeling a little regretful; you are not suddenly a whore; you’re not really trying to fill the void your ex has left as some will persuade you to believe. You’re reacting a little more impulsively when it comes to the opposite sex and merely taking advantage of your new found freedom, and sometimes taking it a little far. It’s really not that big a deal, but be mindful that you’re not leading potential partners on when you have no intention of requiting their interest.
If however the break up has affected you more severely; either due to a clingy ex, a completely uninterested one or simply a sense of utter disbelief, the excessive alcohol consumption will be the most lethal catalyst for the polarisation of emotions. One minute you’re on a massive high, enjoying a bit of a messy tear-up, the next you’ve had a phone call from an unwanted caller and your mascara’s dying your cheeks black with tears or your being restrained by your mates after attacking a wall. Everyone has a drunken tantrum, but to avoid it becoming a regular occurrence there are a few of things to consider. Is regular contact with an ex really healthy for you in your hours of vulnerability? Has student life been truly worth leaving someone you loved and if not is there a chance of re-building bridges? Finally, have you properly cleared the air with your ex partner, explained properly why the relationship had stopped working or listened to their reasons objectively as well?
Breaking up should be made easier by university but sometimes it really isn’t. You’re thrown into a world where you know no body and everybody at the same time, and you’re being asked to deal with a change in your life that you would usually do so with the support of your closest friends. You’re allowed to be upset, and don’t let the smiling faces around you feel you always have to bottle it up. Uni is a great place to be single, but it can be a bad place to become single.
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